Mental health and cancer: "Things that have helped me"

Taking care of her mental health became essential to Lisa following a diagnosis of stage 3 ovarian cancer. She shared some of the things that helped her during treatment and recurrence for Mental Health Awareness Week, and we take a look at some of the charities that offer support. 

"It's like putting on your oxygen mask"

I’m very keen to show that you can live a positive and full life with recurrent ovarian cancer, despite what the limitations of pain and treatment may bring. Good mental health has played a vital role in helping me cope with my diagnosis. I look after my mental health before anything else, for me it’s like putting on your oxygen mask before helping others - you won’t look after your physical need if your mental health is poor.

Things that have helped me 

1. PLANNING. Don’t go too far ahead of where you are now, initially a few weeks has now stretched to a few months for me but that’s as far as it goes. Chronic fatigue was an unexpected side-effect from chemotherapy. It’s taken me a while to understand that every day doesn’t have to, and can’t, be productive. Now, I try and plan my week with down days so that I spread my energy out and don’t just crash.
2. DR GOOGLE. It’s almost impossible to not do this. The stats for ovarian cancer are bloody grim, I know every one off by heart. Has it helped? NOOOO…you don’t need that stuff running around your head.

3. SOCIAL MEDIA. Choose this wisely. I found Facebook very hard, there were too many celebrations of key life events that I would likely not get to share with my lovely husband or 10 year old son. I left my account hanging and after four years have just started to use it again, toe in the water approach.

4. DON’T OVERTHINK IT. Trying to find the ‘why’ is a waste of precious energy and time. The blame game is rife within the cancer community and those trying to profit from it. Instead, think about what you can do now to improve your approach to life from this point forward. 

5. COMPARISONS. I’ve learnt that everyone experiences this disease differently, even women who on paper have the same diagnosis can have completely different reactions and outcomes to treatment, so plough your own path. 

6. TALK ABOUT IT. I couldn’t talk about my fears to my family they were upset enough, this for me was very isolating. Talking to other women who have ovarian cancer on forums and Instagram has given me that outlet.  

For the first two years I didn’t talk much about my diagnosis. I wanted to be seen and feel ‘normal’ and not have cancer be my story. I think I also didn’t like the reminder of my sell by date (see 2 above)! This changed at my first recurrence. When I knew I was in it for the long haul I gave myself permission to talk about stuff like the word incurable which helped define what that means for me. I have become much more open about my diagnosis, I share my story to anyone who will listen in the hope of raising awareness.  

Click here to read the rest of Lisa's story.