Geoffrey and Sandra’s story
After meeting online through their shared passion for sailing, Geoffrey and Sandra married just 18 months later. Together, they sailed across continents, built a campervan and renovated a beautiful home. Sadly, despite keeping herself active and being otherwise healthy, Sandra began showing symptoms of ovarian cancer. Following repeated visits to her GP and hospital, she passed away in 2022. This is their story.
Sandra windsurfing - this is Goffrey's favourite photograph of Sandra.
I met Sandra later in life, when I was 60 and she was 55. After meeting online in Gibraltar, within 18 months, we were married. We both loved sailing and spent many happy hours together on the water, both at home and abroad, too.
Our hope was to keep the boat and sail for as many years as possible before old age intervened and we had to pivot our plans. In 2012, we came across an old house in desperate need of renovation. However, it came with a generous amount of land, and we simply couldn’t resist buying it. I’m a chartered engineer with lots of experience in building, so naturally I was in my element. Sandra pitched in, of course, helping me level the floor, paint, plaster, etc. There was really nothing she wouldn’t have a go at. The same goes for work on the boat, which we continued whilst renovating our home.
In September 2021, during COVID, Sandra started having nagging abdominal pain. She went to her GP, but he asked if she’d lost weight, and she said “no.” He almost immediately dismissed cancer as the probable cause.
Sandra and Geoffrey on their wedding day in Gibraltar.
As time went on, Sandra’s pain steadily got worse, and became accompanied by bloating, an inability to eat and diarrhoea. We didn’t know it at the time, but these are all signs of ovarian cancer. Sandra continued contacting her GP but never saw him face-to-face, only ever on the phone. He once said to us, “I don’t know what the problem is.” Reflecting on this now, I desperately wish we’d not taken no for an answer and pushed more.
In April 2022, Sandra wasn’t feeling any better, so we decided to approach a private consultant.Immediately, they took her on as a patient and conducted a load of tests. However, we soon found out it was too late. Sandra’s condition continued to decline, and after more trips to A&E, she was finally admitted. She was given a week to live.
Sandra on the beach, shortly after her and Geoffrey met
Sandra was determined to have her final days at home. As if the day couldn’t get worse, after waiting hours for a promised wheelchair, we ended up wheeling her out in an office chair.
Once we were home, her sister, son, nephew, and I attended to her every need. It was incredibly harrowing. Nurses from the local Hospice also helped, which was appreciated. Sandra’s GP came to visit her before she passed, but after her delayed diagnosis and poor support, she only felt anger.
Aged 70, just a few months short of her 71st birthday, Sandra died, surrounded by her loved ones.
In the 3 years since Sandra’s death, I’ve never been able to truly restart my life. I’ve sought support, but I find it hard to get back out there without her by my side.
One thing I’d like people to take away from reading this is that you know your body best. Don’t be scared to push if you’re not getting the answers you need, and know you always have the right to a second opinion.
