Samixa's time to be herself, living with advanced ovarian cancer

09 Jun 2021

Transcript available here:

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Samixa: Now when I think of time, I actually feel, I just want time to enjoy my life the way I want to enjoy it. I don't want to do what other people expect me to do or want me to do, and I don't want to be pressurized to do things just because I'm well. I want to enjoy things like reading a book if I want to read a book, watch a television program, go to the movies when I can, or even do nothing. That's quite hard because often I feel, okay, can I just sit and do nothing? I think I really want to do more of that because I feel my time is so precious, and most importantly, the time when I'm well because when I'm well and I'm thinking clearly and I can enjoy what I want to do, I really want to use my time to do that. 

Bakul: I think it's quite an interesting journey that once you get well, and then you almost try and normalize things. You feel that, okay, should we do A, B or C? Of course, I respect that you may not wish to do those same things now because you've been through such an amazing journey beyond 2012 that how you feel and what you want to do will be different. 

Samixa: For me, more and more as time goes on, because it's coming up to nine years since I was diagnosed, and I just feel that those nine years have been a difficult journey, and I've really wanted to be well and tried really hard to look after myself. I've realized that a lot of the things that have helped me or when I've done things that I felt comfortable doing and I've used my time in a way that I wanted to use it, for me, that's getting even more and more important. I know it almost sounds like I might become quite dogmatic in what I want to do, let's say, but it means so much to me as the years go on. 

I'm actually even surprised how much it means to me as the years are going on because maybe I'm valuing the good health I have and the time I've had since my surgery for a recurrence, and that has been the most valuable time I've had. I think I felt the best that I have for a long time in myself, and I don't want to lose that. I really don't want to lose that. 

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